I thought I would never say this but….ummmm, yeah, good men do still exist. I have had the pleasure of meeting two. Why do I say these men are good? Well, because…
1.Most importantly, they didn’t try groping me or molesting me.
2.They ask for hugs instead of demanding or taking them.
3.They seem concern for my well being. Checking on me periodically to see how I am doing. Calling me during the thunderstorm we experience the other day to make sure I was ok and in a safe place.
4.Lastly, but very important, they did not want sex the first time meeting or spending time with me. Completely shocking, I know!
What are a characteristics of a good man? I really don’t know… But for me, a good man is someone who is honest and genuine at all times and doesn’t compromise who they are for something that they want. A good man is confident and in control of their life and situation and mean you no harm. A man that adds to your situation to enhance your quality of life, not take away from your situation or deteriorate your quality of life.
According to Ask Men, the top ten traits of a real (good) man are:
4.Doesn’t participate in Gossip
5.Role Model material
8.Looks like a Man
9.House in Order
An article on http://www.healthguidance.org, lists the following characteristics of a good man: integrity, honesty, maturity, positive attitude and self-confidence.
Only you can really determine what is a good man. You know your requirements and limitations. The same for men that are seeking a good woman. For me, I do believe that these men still exist and I have the pleasure of encountering two of them. I pray that more exist and others have the luxury of meeting them.
Being a single, mother is difficult within itself but when you add dating into the mix, it makes the situation even more complicated. Some of the men that I have encountered do not understand that I do not get to take a break from being a mother.
I would like to have the opportunity to date and spend quality time with them but the demands of being a mother is very demanding and consuming. At times, I am sadden because I have yet determine how to balance motherhood with dating. If anyone has any ideas, advice or suggestions, please share them. I would love to be enlightened.
Until then I will continue to put my child first and my needs second. Although it is very amusing at times because my son is always telling, “Mommy, you need a man!” Lol…but, he wants me to spend all my time with him playing Xbox. I don’t mind. I actually enjoy playing Xbox and the Call of Duty and Modern Warfare series with him. Plus, it allows the opportunity to relate to men and their videogame playing.
If any men are reading this, I hope they will become more understanding and forgiving. Being a single mother, isn’t easy. This may apply to the single fathers, too. There are men that have custody of their children and may experience the same trial and tribulations that we women experience. I would love to hear the perspective of being single fathers and dating…
I apologize for the long lag in my writing. Beginning with this week, I will be posting at least once a week.
I have been thinking about this passage for a while. I wanted to make others aware of dating terms and to discuss some of these terms in length. In today’s society, a lot of different dating statuses are acceptable, more so than in the past. Some of the most popular dating terms that are acceptable or discussed are Friends, Friends with Benefits (FWBs), Sex Buddies (FB)–the other word is used but I wanted to keep this as PG as possible, Side Piece (SPs), Mistresses and one particular term, I cannot stand, is Thirstiness or Thirsty. I know some of you are like what in the world. What do some of these terms mean?!?
Why is this even considered a status? Because men and women use this word loosely to describe each other as being “friends” but it carries more meaning then your typical friends. This status allows you to continue seeing the person you consider a friend while dating others. You know that when you need someone to talk with, spend time with, or be intitmate with you, you can turn to this person. This person will be there throughout your dating adventures, castrophoes and will not judge or manipulate you but be there always. Basically, Friends with Initimacy.
Friends with Benefits (FWBs)
According to the http://www.urbandictionary.com, FWBs is “two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically, two good friends who have causaul sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.” This is extremely similar to friends status. The difference is that casual sex is more prevalent in this relationship. You have the benefit of being friends and lovers. It is usually a win-win situation for both parties until one of the parties because more emotionally attached. Then you risk the chance of losing the relationships, its perks and your friend. Although there is no commitment and the definition given by Urban Dictionary states otherwise, there is usually emotions and feelings involved, more in-depth and intense than friends.
Sex Buddies is strictly for the purpose and convenience of sex. No emotions, no feelings involved at all. You contact this person for strictly only for one reason or purpose. There is no friendship, an extremely casual relationship.
SPs now this is a recently new term. This status relates to men and women that allow themselves to be involved with men or women that are already in committed relationship including marriages. There is more commitment involved then the other statuses. Both parties usually know their place and their purpose. You reap all the benefits of a committed relationship but you send that person back to their wife, girlfriend, husband, boyfriend or significant other. The relationship is usually mutually beneficial for both parties. You have all the conveniences of a committed relationship but none of the headaches or messiness.
Mistress is very similar to SP but the main difference is you reap more of the financial benefits. You are one step from being considered wifey. You are pretty much on-call. This relationship typically involves a married man and his other women. The other woman being his mistress.
Finally, thirsty and thirstiness. These terms do not mean that you are thirsty for something to drink but that you are thirsty for someone’s attention. You will go out of your way to gain the attention of someone or vice versa. You are willing to do whatever it takes even if it compromises who you are. It is very similar to being desperate for attention albeit a man or woman. This frown upon in the dating world and you should prevent being thirsty, “My friends!”
I hope this informed you on the various relationship statuses. These are mostly my own definitions and may not comply with how you define each one. What is your status? Only you can determine how you classify yourself and your worthiness. Do not allow other to determine your fate or worthiness.