The Death of Courting

I had to take a hiatus because of motherly duties but I am baaaacccckkk! While I was on hiatus, I was doing a lot of soul searching and trying to determine what I want when it comes to my personal, dating life.  Wellllllll…   I am tired of the whole sex thing.  I am tired of the s/ps, FBs, FWBs, Friends, or whatever title men and women like to give to their casual sexual relationships (Please see previous post describing the different sexual relationship statuses).  I am tired of being an option for men, I want to be THE OPTION for ONE man.   I want to court, be courted.  “What is this?”, you ask.  Well, I did some minor research and came across several definitions.  Not only definitions but it was mentioned that there is a difference between “courting” and “dating”.   “Courting” is the art of getting to know each other to determine if you want to be engaged or potentially married to one another. The guy is mainly the suitor and try to pursue and influence the woman that he is interested in being with her in a long-term, committed relationship.  Neither party is interested in or pursing others but are only interested in one another.   “Dating” is actively, pursuing romantic relationships with different people usually at the same time.  When a person is dating, they are not focus on one person like courting but several people.    I want ONE man to actively, pursue me with the intent of being with me for a lifetime.  In the olden days, the man focused on “wooing” the lady to persuade her that he was the one for her and that he could provide for and support her.   In this day and age, it is hard to find a man that is willing to invest the time and attention it takes to court a lady.  My opinion is if time was spent in courting a person, then the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high, etc.   People would spend the time to get to know the intricacies of one another and determine if this person is really someone that they want to be with for a lifetime.  A very important part to courting is there is usually no sexual involvement.  No intimate interactions.  It is merely spending time going places, going on dates, having long conversations and determining each other’s goals and aspirations.  It is taking the time to determine if you really fit with one another.   I want to remove all of the complicated, obstacles that prevents me from getting to really know a man.  I want to go on dates and be the focus of the ONLY focus of that man and not others.   I want the wining and dining. The late night talks, the long conversations, the intimate moments of just being with one another and it not be sexual but intellectual, stimulation that arouses the deepest areas of my soul.   Courting no longer exists in our culture with the onset of media bombarding us with sexual images every where we go and reiterating that sex sells, we have lost the fine art of courting and really getting to know one another before becoming sexual with each other.   Nowadays, we are intimate before we even begin seriously dating one another.   I want more for me….I want to be THE OPTION not an option.    

2 thoughts on “The Death of Courting

  1. Pingback: The Death of Courting | "A Mad Diary of Single, Woman"

  2. Pingback: Rule Six: Do Your Part To Make The Affair Successful | Women in Contemporary Relationships

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